Smart Talkin in the Philippines

Smart.
I am smart.
You are not smart.
Pop quiz, hot shot: you use your keys so your car can start, and YOU use your brain so that you can be not (fill in the blank).
I'm in the Philippines. Sound this out: Feel-a-peeness. Again: feel-a-peeness. Again: feel-a-peeness.
Your mind is in the gutter. Don't even think I meant something dirty by that. You will though, not smarty pants.
I have probably eaten feces every day here. That's shocking, isn't it. Whatever. I'm not asking your opinion. I will have to clean my hands with fire when I get back. Whatevs.
Hold on a second- I can feel your not-smartness through the computer. Stiff arm. You can't get through my defense.
Um, how many not smart people does it take to ruin my day?
Let me think- you.
This is the least creative blog I've ever done in my life.
Smart.
I am the Smart Retard.