Uncle Bo

Was up in da heezy my peeps? Y'all getting krunk? Best not be. It's only lunch time fools, gotsta wait til da nite time. Wutang!
Yo, check it- I'm an uncle. Reprusent! Shizzle is crazy, ya know. I don't even feel dat old, but damn, too late to worry about dat, I gots a responsubilitee now, you know? I gotsa be der for dat liddle boy.
Yo, dis shizzle is close to BoShnickel's heart. I'm frum a broken home, yo. I hads an uncle dat was never there for me when I was just a liddle thug. Yo, I pretty much blame dat fool for making me da way I am. I never had dat speshul uncle teaching, you know, dat uncles give. Yo, both of my parentz did they best ta teech me da wayz of being a man, but it just wuzn't enough. My pops always put food on da table, and chrismus presentz unda da tree and what not, and gave me da cars dat I needed, and he nevuh laid a hand on my moms. Yo, akshulee, I thinks he wuz also helpin out at a soup kitchun and whatevs, and even dis one time he fownd a hurt squirrel and brought it home and nursed it back to helth till it could swing in da trees again.
But yo! dat hole time, where waz my dead beat uncle? Problee back home wherevs he lived, helping his own kidz do dey skool werk. Punk ass busta! I needed help wit my skool werk, foo! From you! Not from my parentz, who weren't cool. Yo, dey waz just supa nice and whateva and gave me lots of stuff. Dat's good and whatevs, but I needed some cool ass uncle who had a mustang who would take me to go get milshakez and den cruze around scoping out duh honeyz. But no, you sed it waz too far away to drive to my house every night. It wuz only four hours, foo! Ya getz twenty four of dem each day, b! Whatz da matter, den?
Whatevs, all I know iz I gots to be der for my nef few. I can't be out gettin buzy wit honeyz all da time and leavin shorty at home alone wit his parents. Das why I'm gonna be over der all of thu time, jus being ther, even if no one is home. Yo, I'll make shur dat da tv werks for shorty when he gets home and wantz ta watch Blooz Clooz or whatevs, and make shur tha fridge has some good ass food in it, whitch meenz I'll have ta test it out, yo. But I'm okay doing dat. No probs, my peeples.
Yo, being an uncle is off da hook, son! I think one day I might even let the jimmy hat slip when I'm gettin buzy wit sum honey and becum a fathu myself. Not fo a while, tho. Fo now, I just hopes my sistuh and her husbund keep gettin buzy and makin mo kidz that BoShnickels can be an uncle to. Dats all. I'm just a simple man, yo, but I am a rider. Don't forgets that.